Things You Don't Want a Co-Worker to Say to You

1. I think I saw someone run into your car.
2. Someone in HR accidentally emailed your salary to everyone in the company.
3. I'd like you to be in charge while everyone else in the department is on vacation.
4. You left your magazine in the first stall.
5. Did you hear? They've laid off X people today. And, on a completely unrelated topic - your boss is looking for you.
6. I'd like you to speak at the all-hands meeting.
7. I think I saw the CEO run into your car.
8. I'm pretty sure I ate your lunch from the fridge. You can have mine. Oh wait, I forgot mine.
9. So you're wearing red underwear today?
10. When I masturbate, I think about you.