Inside the Actors Studio with Me

Here are the questions that James Lipton asks each guest at the end of the show (Inside the Actors Studio) and my answers:

1. What is your favorite word?
Glazed breasts and sticky buns. So many, many connotations.

2. What is your least favorite word?
Shizzle. What the f**k is that derived from?

3. What turns you on?
Glazed breasts and sticky buns.

4. What turns you off?
Seeing mediocrity awarded with acclaim.

5. What sound or noise do you love?
My wife and kids laughing. Anyone laughing.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
The sound of anything that comes in contact with styrofoam raises the hairs on my neck.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Are you kidding? Are you f**king kidding?

8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
Celebrity writer - a writer who IS a celebrity, not a writer who writes about celebrities.

9. What profession would you not like to participate in?
Pediatric Oncology.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? To me: "Ha, you were wrong. And don't worry. Jim Bakker, Jerry Falwell, and Pat Robertson will never be here.

You'll be staying in the 'Glazed Breasts and Sticky Buns' wing. Enjoy!"