Stealing from Myspace

I have a myspace account. I don't use it - I use this blog instead. But I do liberally "borrow" material from Myspace, if only because I think some of it is fun. Below please find 50 (or so) questions and my answers.

1. Have you had sex in the last week?
Yep.

2. Have you kissed someone in the last week?
Yep.

3. If yes, did you like it?
Yep.

5. What is the last thing that you drank?
Diet A&W

6. Who is the last person you think about at night?
??? Depends on the night.

7. Elvis or James Dean?
Neither.

8. Who is one person you can't stand from high school?
Myself.

9. What grade did you make in college algebra?
An "A" - when I took it in high school.

10. If you could have sex w/ one person right now who would it be and why?
My wife. Because we fit.

11. Are you still in love w/ any of your ex's?
Can't even remember ex's.

12. Do you like someone right now?
Yep. My wife - if that's what you're getting at.

13. Who is your freebie?
And a freebie would be?

14. Do you think lesbians are hot?
Dumb question. People are hot or not hot based on their looks and personality, not their sexuality.

16. What is your fav alcoholic drink?
Fuzzy Navel.

17. Fav non alcoholic?
Mountain Dew.

18. If you could have one wish what would it be?
That all the bombs and guns would just stop working. And for people to learn to disagree and walk away.

20. Do you know what tofu is?
A soylent-based product. I mean soy-based product.

21. Have you ever eaten it?
Not on purpose.

22. Do you know what a colonoscopy is?
Unfortunately.

23. Have you ever had one?
Yep.

24. Do you know who plays at least a small part in every Adam Sandler movie?
Other than Adam Sandler, no.

25. Do you want to go back to high school?
Never. Not even briefly, to right wrongs. Nope.

26. Who is your arch enemy?
Lex Luthor. Motherf*cker!

27. If you could go back to one time in your life and change something, would you?
Maybe. Depends on the rules. If madcap hilarity ensues, then yes.

28. This is for guys and girls - Do you or have you ever read Cosmo?
It's a viable and inexpensive source of softcore porn for teenage boys with teenage sisters, with built-in plausible deniability. But no, I haven't and don't.

29. Have you ever watched the Britney Spears movie?
Britney Spears made a movie?

30. Do you listen to Lindsay Lohan?
Only when she's saying lines in a movie.

31. Your favorite color?
Blue.

32. Paul Walker or Ryan Phillippe?
And these guys are famous people?

33. Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera?
Musically - neither. Sexually - I'll pass on both.

34. Smurfs or Carebears?
As targets in a firing range, either will do. Quick dirty joke: What's blue and Sticky? Smurf cum.

35. Favorite ex?
Nope.

36. Do you want platinum or gold for your wedding band?
Gold.

37. Have you ever paid to have your eyebrows waxed?
Sounds harrowing. No.

38. Do you shave your back?
Sounds harrowing. No.

39. Have you ever watched porn and thought it was funny?
Yes. But not on purpose.

40. Have you ever flashed someone?
Just what would I be flashing? Genitalia? Cash?

41. Who is your best friend?
My wife.

42. How many children do you want to have?
3

43. Are you pro-choice or pro-life?
Pro-choice.

44. Republican or Democrat?
Neither, but I vote against the Republicans.

45. What religion (if any) are you?
None.

47.Do you think that the tobacco companies should pay for people's medical bills?
No, but we should tax the living sh*t out of them to pay for smokers who can't afford insurance.

48. What scares you
Darth Cheney. My kids in the military. Ignorant leadership. Fundamentalist Christianity. Fundamentaism [any religion].

49. What makes you happy?
Laughter. Piles of money. Spare time.

50. If you could have one person in your bed tonight who would it be?
My wife. (Am I boring yet?) And she's not even looking over my shoulder.